Master of none
Thursday, August 17, 2006
  Airline security
I've figured out how to secure commercial airline flights. First no carry on luggage on any flight, this would also have the effect of greatly speeding up the security screening process. While we're at it lets do away with checked baggage also the risk that someone could get some malicious substance through screening is to great. There are a number of shipping services that could transport suit cases and other baggage without putting hundreds of passengers at risk. No cell phones, wrist watches, laptop computers, I-pods or other electronic devices could be considered safe ether. Really to be completely safe we'd better not let in any outside clothing we'll have everybody ware those paper suits they give you in the doctors office. Security would be quick, Men to the left women to the right, strip, put every thing you brought with you except your boarding pass and ID card in a bag to be shipped home or dumped in the trash, a quick cavity search, and here's your paper modesty suit, and have a nice flight.

Maybe this would be a better idea:
FAA Considering Passenger Ban
Or this from
My plan to streamline airport security

To speed up screening at airports, here is what we do. We have one line for the bulk of the populace, where you get probed, stripped, searched, and felt up. Then we have another line, where you walk straight onto the plane. IF you eat a piece of bacon first.

If you're a Jew, you can get around the bacon test by blowing your nose on a Koran.

Mmmmm… Bacon!

I don't think I'll be flying anywhere anytime soon, Mineapolis to Chicago is quicker to drive than fly, and anywhere that's less that 16 hours of drive time just isn't worth the effort to deal with security and shipping.
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